Communicate, and Build. That’s the ticket. In a world that’s fast moving, fast thinking, and quick on the uptake, who has time to make decisions and think? You will, if you want to find yourself in happy and thriving relationships at work, in your circle of peers, and with your significant other, your kids, and even the In-laws.
Every encounter, and every interaction, is based on some kind of relationship building platform, from meeting someone, to getting to know them, to exhibiting character traits like honesty, humility, trust, and having a genuine interest in the other person, their goals ,and their happiness. That’s relationship building. And it’s accomplished by Communicating.
How? The 3 Pillars of Effective Communication are:
Listen, more than you talk. That means zip it. As social beings, our validity is based in being acknowledged and heard. Having an open, understanding, appreciative ear tells the other person you are listening, hearing them, and validating them.
Engage in conflictual situations or conversations without your ego. It’s evil, self-centred, and only wants immediate, selfish gratification. Park it outside or box it up. Leading with your ego will always land you in unfavourable territory. Having effective communication is part of being an effective arguer. Enter into such situations with kindness and understanding, not with your back up. It’s a sure-fire way to put the other person in defence mode and in lock down. You’ll get nowhere fast. Here again, acknowledgment and validation is King. Or Queen. When you start a conversation or objection with an acknowledgement or a positive, you’re opening things up to be favourable, kind and inviting.
Attitude. Calm wins the day. We’ve heard this a thousand times, and it’s true. If we want to elicit certain responses, part of that means we have to set and keep ‘the tone’. That also means, leading by example. Another person’s flared emotions do not give you license to flare up your own. These kinds of situations beg for a leader, someone who can deflect the hot, the anger, and the upset, and keeps things neutral, or at least not heated. The best outcomes will come from a semblance of calm and rational, and will help the other person to also keep their cool, so a win-win outcome is available for all involved.
These skills require practice but are easy to implement and work for you, but only when you’re ready, and prepared to commitment to the commitment of change. Successful and happy relationships start with You.