It's red, hot, and to the point. If we were roasting marshmallows, it would be a great tool to have, but anger, when anger is loud, hurtful, harmful and debilitating, is not aneffective tool. It serves the Ego, but doesn't serve for fruitful outcomes or purpose with whomever else is involved.
Venting in anger serves as an outlet and a positive way to manage your emotions and detox, if you will. Anger as a self-serving modicum, at the behest of another, to attain an agenda or goal, is divisive, disruptive, and uncontrolled, and leads to further problems within the relationship.
Whether it's you, your spouse or partner, or your children, anger usually isn't just how you 'see' it, as it presents itself and rears its ugly head. It is more often a symptom of what isn't obvious...unresolved issues, resentment, frustration, overwhelm, or various life circumstances. Anger is also often used as a control or fear tactic, where the beholder is unwilling or unable to manage their emotions and identify their triggers, and work through the issues that trigger them.
We all feel anger, and most of us, most of the time, are able to manage our emotions and exhibit regulation. Sometimes, for some, this is not possible, for some of the reasons mentioned above, and for other reasons, like denial, embarrassment, or being caught in this kind of rut of behaviour that now seems to be a go-to and seemingly like an expected auto-response. Either way, anger, when hurtful, is counter-productive and a misappropriation of control, thoughtfulness, and care.
It's not easy quelling the anger, be it you, or someone else. Recognizing your emotions, and beginning to recognize your triggers, is the first step to quelling and managing your own anger. Managing and quelling anger in others can be done with the right approach, the right kind of communication, and with appropriate techniques and strategies that are easily implementable and effective.
Together, we will create an action plan that works for you and your individual situation to manage the anger, live more harmoniously, and stay in your power.